Switched! A Terrible Case of Identity Crisis
by Gaara-no-Jo
Summary: The Sand siblings find themselves in an uncomfortable position. Some evil ninjutsu swapped their minds around. Will this bring them closer as they live the life of another? Oh boy...Help! Completed
1. Who's on First?

Switched!A Terrible Case of Identity Crisis.

Man I write a lot of stories. I'm glad I get a lot of positive comment though! Sa! I'll keep it coming. This one is another funny one. I'm good at those! So ...yeah, , and don't do drugs!

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Chapter 1

The three sand siblings stood before the cornered Mist ninja. They had already cut down two of her comrades and now only she remained. Sweat poured from her temples and she was short of breath. Her eyes flitted from the boy with the puppet to the girl with the fan and finally to the boy with blackened eyes. His sand was slowly snaking towards her. Time was running out.

"Don't come any closer!" she screamed. She heard the sounds of wood against wood. The puppet, Karasu, twitched as its master laughed at her.

The next noise was metal against metal. Temari closed her fan and fluffed her bangs with her fingers. "This is the end for you. Just go quietly."

The woman stared at the sand as it moved closer. "Wait... There is something you should no...It is true that I cannot kill you but I can make it impossible for you to kill me."

"Empty threats," Gaara stated flatly. "My sand will eliminate your life in seconds. You cannot escape death. It's inevitable."

"Listen to him. When he sounds like that, he means it. Not many people have survived our Gaara," Kankurou said with a chuckle.

The mist ninja's body was shaking visibly. The sand was already up to her hips. "This is my final warning." The three children merely smiled knowingly. "All right. Ninpou! Koukan no justu!" The woman shoved her hand inside of Gaara's creeping sand. The boy doubled over in pain, holding his head, yelling. The sand began to retreat. Gaara fell to his knees.

Temari rushed over and put her hands on his shoulder. "Gaara!" Her hands began to tingle and soon her whole body was in pain. She stumbled away from her younger brother, shaking. Her eyes rolled back into her head and soon she was falling backwards. Kankurou caught her before she fell. He looked at the woman.

"What the hell did you do them!"

The mist ninja dashed forward but Kankurou was quicker and Karasu stabbed her through the chest with the blade hidden in his wrist. She coughed up some blood but grabbed the puppet's arm. "Ninpou...Koukan no Justu." Kankurou felt the same tingling that Temari experienced. "I told you...." Karasu fell in a heap, the strings of chakra interrupted. "I'll will keep you from killing me." Kankurou watched her disappear just before he too blacked out.

The darkness engulfed him. He felt as if something was pulling him around like a doll on a string. The woman's face was laughing at him. He couldn't escape. The voice grew louder and soon it sounded like him. It was his face and it laughed at hm. He turned to a mirror and found that his face had been gone and there was nothing but a featureless mask.

"TEMARI!" his voice yelled. He snapped his eyes open. He was staring down at himself. He screamed but the voice was not his own. "Temari, it's me....Gaara."

"Shut up! I am not Temari! You are not Gaara! This is a nightmare!" Kankurou cried. He hurried to his feet and backed away from himself.

"It's true, Kankurou,"said Gaara from behind him... He turned and saw his little brother staring at him with worried eyes. "I'm Temari. You're in my body." Kankurou fell to his knees... He couldn't understand what was going on.

His body approached him and crossed his arms. The expression on his face was one of cool regard. It was how Gaara always looked. Gaara looked at him with concern and stood liks Temari stood. He looked down at himself. It was Temari's body but.... he felt like himself.

"The jutsu switched our bodies. When Temari touched me our minds exchanged."

"And when you caught me," Temari in Gaara's body continued. "She performed the Jutsu again and we switched minds too."

Kankurou stood again. He reached out and touched his face. He could only feel the cool skin beneath his fingertips not the fingertips on his face. Something inside him told him he should cry... "What...I don't understand..."

"I obviously cannot use your jutsu....Temari cannot use mine and you cannot use Temari's... She was right. We couldn't kill her because we can't fight like this." Gaara in Kankurou's body answered.

Temari approached Kankurou. "Look, little brother, we have to go back to Sand and get this fixed. Our mission is over."

"WHAT?! We can't go back home looking like this!! We're freaks... Besides...how do we know they can fix this? It'll be a perfect opportunity for them to oust us. We're defenseless." Kankurou exclaimed.

Temari considered this. "We don't really have much of a choice unless... We go to Konoha... Tsunade could analyze this jutsu and fix it, I'm sure..."

Kankurou sighed deeply. "As if those guys would help us...."

Gaara turned and walked over to Karasu, beginning to wrap it in its bindings again. "They'll help us. It's the kind of people they are. We're allies now."

Kankurou rushed over and watched his little brother carefully dress his puppet. "No, no, under the arms first....Look, just let me do it. You'll screw it up." He tried to shove Gaara out of the way with his shoulder but found that he couldn't. "God, being a girl sucks!"

"HEY!" Temari yelled. "I like being a girl better than being a stinky boy!"

"I don't stink," Gaara retorted. "Well, I didn't before I got into this body."

"Shut up!"Kankurou grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

"Going to punch me, Kankurou?" Gaara threatened icily. The older boy....now a girl, knew he wouldn't punch himself even if he couldn't feel it. He let go of Gaara and angrily rapped his puppet.

Temari sighed and knelt beside her two brothers. "Look, I know we're all unhappy with the changes that have been made but we can't lose sight of what's important. Until Tsunade can fix us, we have to get along and learn to use these bodies. " She stood up. "You two shouldn't count yourselves lucky. I got _Gaara's _body. You two can at least sleep."

Gaara blinked and looked at her. "You're right..." He stood up as Kankurou finished with Karasu. He took the puppet from his brother and put it on his back.

Kankurou looked miserable. Even though he knew it wasn't Temari, seeing that expression on her face still upset him. "Kankurou, don't forget Temari's fan. You'll have to teach me to use Karasu sometime. Until then, I'll take good care of him."

The older boy smiled a little and sighed. "All right but don't think it'll be easy. Nothing is automatic here. So it might be harder for you." Gaara nodded.


	2. Arriving in Konoha

Gaara Kankurou's Body, Kankurou Temaris' body, and Temari Gaara's body.

Me insane and as mentally unstable as a girl who's slept one too many times with the Shukaku

* * *

Gaara was not in Kankurou's body. Kankurou was not in Temari's body and Temari was now in Gaara's body. In short, in the matter of five minutes their lives had been completely screwed up.

When they reached Konoha they immediately headed to the Hokage's office. One of the aids greeted them outside of the building. "Ah, the children of the former Kazekage. It's a pleasure." He bowed and the children returned the gesture. "What brings you here?"

Temari stepped foward. "We need to see the Hokage. It's urgent."

The man shook his head. "She's not here. She left on business just yesterday and we don't expect her back for sometime. Can it wait?"

"Well, yes but-"

"We'll provide you housing until the time that she returns then. I'm sorry about the inconvenience but it cannot be helped." He bowed again. "Good bye."

Kankurou stepped foward. "Now hold on second! Can't you call her back, I mean if she just left yesterday then-"

"She should drop everything and return because you have some kind of crisis? Unless the village is in danger, I'm afraid that's impossible," he retorted, glaring over his small sunglasses. "Good day." Kankurou growled as the man left.

"DAMMIT!" The older boy tried to shove his hands in his pockets only to find that there were none. "Temari! Can't you get some normal clothes....with pockets??"

Temari glared at him which was more effective since she had Gaara's eyes now. "I have very NICE clothes and they don't need pockets. Let's just go. There's nothing we can do."

With one last baleful glare at the Hokage's building, Kankurou jogged down the stairs, muttering. At the bottom, Temari stopped him. "Hold it, hold it."

"Now what?" he snapped.

"You can't go around walking like that! Walk like a girl, moron," she snapped.

Kankurou blinked. "What do you mean. I'm just walking normal."

"Yeah, for you. Here like this..." Temari took off, the heavy gourd on her back and leaned it against a wall. "Step step, turn... Wag the hips a little, too."

Gaara grabbed his sister, looking around. "Stop. Do not illustrate that walk with my body....EVER....again. I'll kill you if you do." Temari chuckled a little, especially since Gaara would have a harder time of killing her in Kankurou's body.

"I'll show you when we get to our place." No sooner had she said this when a young shinobi approached them to show them to their temporary housing. It was a nice sized building with two floors and already furnished. Temari thanked the shinobi and sank into a seat.

Kankurou went to the fridge and grabbed the fixings for a sandwich. "So now what? There's not telling when Tsunade will get back." He put his finger in the mayonnaise and licked it off. "Ew...lite."

Setting Karasu down gently, Gaara turned on the television to a news show. "Let's just make the most of this. I'm going to enjoy sleeping without fear of losing my personality."

"I'll kill you," Temari hissed. He little brother gave her a look. "I'm trying to act like you. I think it's a good idea that we try and keep this a secret. So we have to learn to be like each other."

"Well," Gaara began, "you're too happy but I'll give you a few more days of lack of sleep to get over that." Temari looked as if he just sentenced her to death. "That's more like it."

Kankurou sat down on the couch and sprawled out. "I have no intentions of acting like a woman."

"I can see that," his brother noted with disgust. "I think I'll stay inside most of the time anyway. I don't want people seeing me like this."

Inside, this made Temari very happy. She didn't like the idea of Kankurou walking around in her body anyway. He was crude and loud. Besides...she didn't want Shikamaru finding either of them in this condition. The outcome could be terrible. She remained quiet about the situation.

Gaara stood up and walked to the stairs. "I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted." He left Temari to glare at him and Kankurou to flip through the channels.

The next day Kankurou woke up and almost choked on his spit when he caught sight of himself in the mirror. It took a few minutes to register what was going on but when he realized he just groaned. He passed Temari on the way to the bathroom. She didn't look any better than he did. Gaara was still sleeping soundly.

Temari took it upon herself to take a walk around Konoha during the night. She now new every street corner, every alley, and every bit of graffiti that graced the roads of the ninja village. She still had time for more as well. So she decided to practice using Gaara's sand. She managed to create a new skill; nail file no jutsu. She gave her new body a full manicure and pedicure. Then she decided to try and cover up the dark circles around Gaara eyes. There wasn't enough concealer in the world, it appeared.

She was still bored. How did Gaara do it every night? She'd go insane. There was a thought...no wonder their little brother as so unpredictable and dangerous...he never slept. Temari hit her head against the wall. Never before did she realize so clearly how lack of sleep could affect a person. She'd have to be nicer to him when this was all over.

The sand ninja looked at the clock. She finished a 500 peice puzzle but Kankurou was still in the bathroom and she had to go. Temari stomped up the stairs and knocked on the door. "Kankurou, what are you doing in there I have to pee."

"I'm busy," he snapped.

"You've been in there for over an hour! Get out already!"

"I'm BUSY!" he returned again, more urgently.

"Busy doing what!?"

"... .... Experimenting." Temari almost bit her tongue.

"You better be talking about science, asshole."

"It may not be scientific but it's certainly magical all right."

"Kankurou..."

"Wow, these are so soft and....Oooooo."

"Kankurou!"

"And this is so wet...."

"KANKUROU!"

"Mmmmmmmmmm....."

"KANKUROU STOP TOUCHING MY BODY!" Temari was banging on the door. Sand rushed up behind her as her temper rose.

Gaara swung open his door and put his hand on her shoulder. "Calm down! Both of you shut up! I'm trying to sleep."

Temari turned on Gaara. "He's doing things! To _my_ body! HE'S TOUCHING ME!"

"No...it's MY body now. And I'm just getting to know it better."

"NO...NONONONONONONONONO! NO! N. O. NO! STOP IT!"

"Oops, lost my toothbrush." Temari stopped dead. Gaara grabbed her hand tightly before she tried to Sand Coffin their brother. "Oh, here it is." The door opened and Kankurou was fully dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, toothbrush in his teeth. He looked from Temari to Gaara. "What? It fell on the floor. What were you two pervs thinking?" Gaara squeezed his sister's hand more tightly. She was going to Sand Coffin him.

Kankurou shrugged and walked downstairs. Gaara released Temari's hand and went back to his room. Hopefully, she wouldn't kill him while he slept. Infuriated, the oldest sand ninja in the youngest's body, went into the bathroom slamming the door shut.

While Temari fumed over the toilet, the phone rang. Kankurou picked it up, toast dangling out of his mouth. "Yeah, what?"

"Is....Temari there?" came a familiar voice. _Oh shit....It's Shikamaru!_ Kankurou spit out the toast. Here was his chance, he didn't want that snot-nosed lazy-ass dating his sister anyway. He could totally ruin their relationship!...Then he realized what would happen to him if he did. Temari would have his balls in a meat grinder. "Hello?"

"Ah...Shika-kun..."he said sweetly. He pulled the phone away and made puking motions. "How are you, sweety?"

"Temari, I heard you came here. What are you doing here?"

Quick! A lie!...."Um...a mission."

"A mission? Why would Sand ninja have a mission in Konoha?"

"Uuuuuh, well,....we....are...waiting for Tsunade to come back so we can find out...what...the...mission...is....." Kankurou gritted his teeth. Why did the moron keep asking such stupid and difficult questions.

There was a pause. "So are you busy today?"

"Uuuuuuuuh.........Y..yeah?"

"Oh," Shikamaru said disappointed. "What about tomorrow?"

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh......Y..yeah?"

"Mmm....troublesome. Will I get to see you at all?"

"Uuuuuuuuuuuh....n...No?" He sighed deeply on the other end. Kankurou twirled the phone cord in his finger. "Uuuuuh... say, do you like me?"

"What? What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer it, br-" Kankurou caught himself. "Please, Shika-kun, tell me..."

"You know I love you, Temari. You're the only girl I've ever really been able to understand." Kankurou nodded. Girls were pretty complex...They made no sense and he was a seasoned veteran of the opposite sex.

"... Do you really love me?"

"I really love you."

"Really really?"

"Really really."

"Really really really?"

"What is with you?" Kankurou winced. Overplayed his hand... A lightbulb popped on in his head. Shikamaru and Temari were like his puppets now....He controlled both of their fates. The thought was appealing. He liked plays....Oh, yes...and a player he would become.

"Hey, how about today we go out on a date?"

"Really? But I thought-"

"Forget thinking, I just freed up some time. I gotta...get dressed. You, uh....meet me at your place at 5, okay?"

"Sounds great. See ya."

"Buh-bye." Click. Kankurou held in an evil laugh. When he turned around he saw Gaara's creepy eyes staring at him with confusion.

"Who was on the phone?" Temari asked quizzically. Quick! A lie!

"No one. Just, uh....one of the ninjas asking us about how we liked the place." Temari nodded and went to the kitched.... Kankurou smiled. Oh yes.....all was going according to plan.


	3. The Date

Enjoy!

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Gaara finally woke up at around 3 in the afternoon. Temari who almost fell asleep woke him as the sand ran amok. She was in the bathroom taking an ice cold shower. For a second he felt sorry for her, until he realized that he just slept for 14 hours without losing his personality. He had a dream. A nice dream. As a matter of fact he had several dreams and none of them involved sand, tanukis, or him losing his mind. This made him smile.

Kankurou came trotting down the stairs. He was in a bikini top with a short skirt and fishnet socks. He took a crack at make-up too. The result was lots of sparkles.

"You're...sparkly," Gaara commented.

"But am I sexy?"

"Uuuuuh...." Kankurou ignored him and fluffed Temari's for pigtails in the mirror. "Why are you in a bathing suit? Are you going swimming."

His brother grinned. "Nooooope. I'm going out on a date."

Gaara's stomach did a flip. "... ... ...With?" he ventured.

"My boyfriend..." Kannkurou paused. "That's okay for me to say because I'm really a girl...... ... right?"

"No it's not okay. YOU are going out with TEMARI'S boyfriend. And when she finds out, she's going to figure out Sabaku no Sousou really quick and I don't think you'll like it." Gaara warned.

Kankurou walked over and sat in his lap. He grabbed Gaara's collar. "She's not going to find out. Why? Because _we_ aren't going to tell here. Right?"

"You can't hurt me? I'm in your body."

"And she can't hurt me because I'm in her's. But still... If you don't want her to freak out and destroy Konoha with YOUR body then you better keep your trap shut. Got it, brat?"

Gaara sighed and shoved him off of his lap. "I won't tell her but you better get out of here before she comes out."

Kankurou nodded and skipped to the door. He slid is feet into his sandals. "I'm going."

"Wait!" Gaara was looking at him from the couch. "I can see your underwear, Kankurou."

"Really?...AWESOME!" He grinned. "I'm hot shit. Temari will thank me when this is all over." With that he left.

The young ninja shuddered. "Tsunade...please..._please_ hurry.

Shikamaru was lying on the ground watching the clouds. He was glad to hear that the sand ninja would be able to see him. He was thinking about what kind of mission they'd be doing when he was suddenly staring up a girl's skirt. "WHOAH!" He scrambled to his feet, shocked to see Temari grinning at him. "What the-... You're sparkly."

She did a few poses. "Do you like?"

The young shinobi put his hands in his pockets. "It's...different. I've never seen you dress like that."

"Well, I'm a different person."

"How so?"

"Trust me. So, what do you want to do today?" She asked taking his hand.

Shikamaru looked confused but shrugged. "We could just talk like we always do."

"Talk? All the - God that's boring. " Temari said with a little surprise. "I mean if you're going to go out with my si- uh with me, then we should at least do SOMETHING cooler than that. Wanna make-out?"

Shikamaru stared at her. He lost all color in his face and just stared. Temari waved her hand in front of his face but there was no reaction. "Did I say something wrong?"

He blushed and turned his back to here. "...What's with that kind of thing all of a sudden. We haven't even had our first kiss." Behind his back, the false Temari looked aghast.

_Temari's been keeping it really G-rated this whole time. She's moving awful slow. Maybe she doesn't really like him. But why does she always freak out..._ A lightbulb went on in his head.

Temari hugged her boyfriend from behind. "You're funny! I didn't really mean that we'd make-out. I was just joking." Shikamaru pouted.

"That's a pretty bad joke. You scared me."

"Let's just talk like usual," she said sitting down. Shikamaru nodded and sat beside here.

Kankurou opened the door tentatively. "Psssssst....Gaara?"

"What?" came a voice behind him. The older boy jumped and turned around. It was Gaara and not Temari as Gaara.

"Geez! A little warning. Where's our sister?"

Gaara pushed passed him and entered the house. "She's taking a walk. She wanted me to go with her but I was going to take a nap."

Kankurou gave a little cheer and grabbed his brothers hand, locking the door. "Good, because we have a mission to do." He pulled the younger boy with him up to Temari's room. He began to rummage through her backpack.

"What are you doing?" Gaara inquired. "If Temari catches us in her st-" his sentenced ended in a gasp as Kankurou held up a small purple book with a paper seal on it. "Kankurou...put that back."

"I'm Temari now, right?"

"So in order for me to act like Temari, I have to know all about her, right?"

"And what better way to get into her character than to read her diary."

".... I'm out of here. I'm not getting my ass kicked because you enjoy cross dressing."

"I DO NOT ENJOY IT!" he yelled at Gaara's retreating back. Kankurou grumbled and began to read.

_Dear Diary,_

_I got a letter for Shikamaru! He's so sweet. He sent me a dry flower in it, too. I have to write him back but what should I give him-_

"Boring." Kankurou flipped back a few pages.

_Dear Diary,_

_I AM GOING TO RIP MY MORON BROTHER TO SHREDS!!! _

"Eek. I remember that day. Next!"

_Dear Diary,_

_When will I get to see Shika-shika again? I hate being couped up in Sand with nothing to do. I stare at the clouds and wonder if he's thinking about me too. We have another mission in Mist, maybe we can stop at Konoha..._

"Well, I guess she does like Shikamaru...She's just a little old-fashioned..." He scanned the pages some more but if she wasn't longing for Shikamaru she was complaining. How ever Temari, Kankurou mused wryly. "So, she likes his ponytail, talking to him, and he gives her lame sissy presents. I think I'm going to puke."

"No, Kankurou..." came an icy voice behind him. "I think you're going to die a slow....painful....twisted death..."

Kankurou turned slowly, sweat pouring from his face. "Ha...Ah....Temari! I know what this looks like?"

Temari looked at what was in his hands gasped. "IS. THAT. MY. DIARY?????" She pounced on him, ripping it from his hands. "You better have a damn good reason why I should choke you with your own intestines?"

"Because....they're really your intestines?"

"THEN I'LL RIP THEM OUT OF YOUR BODY?"

"What about Gaara?"

"I'LL KILL HIM TOO!" Kankurou sweated more. She was really losing it. He didn't need another psycho sibling.

"Listen, Temari. I saw Shikamaru today and he asked me some stuff and I wasn't sure how you'd answer. So I thought I'd read your diary to get some insight on how you think and talk." Kankurou smiled reassuringly but felt hands on his throat.

"Say that...one more time."

"I read your diary-"

"Before that."

"I...saw...Shika-"

"I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!"

Gaara, who was asleep on the couch, woke up. Sand tossed Kankurou down the stairs and into a wall. The young ninja jumped up. Temari was gripping her head hand extended towards their brother. She was losing control.

"I tried to warn that idiot." He went up to her and grabbed her hands. "Temari, calm down. You can't let your temper out or you might kill him!"

She glared at Gaara, sending chills down his spine. "Look, even you said we have to act like each other. What else could he do?"

"Fine! Take his side! I'm going for a walk!" She shoved passed him and stalked out the door.

Gaara groaned. "I really wanted that nap too. I'm going after her. Try to keep out of trouble."

Kankurou took a deep breath. "Being a girl is hard work."


	4. Kankurou on Being a Girl

Gaara and Temari were downstairs eating breakfast. Since Temari had a lot of time to herself she tried to improve her cooking. The result was that they were eating cereal from a box. Gaara was reading a newspaper and she was trying desparately to keep her eyes open.

They both heard Kankurou wake up and stumble into the bathroom. Out of habit, she got up and fixed a bowl of cereal for their brother so it would be ready and waiting when he came down. However, Kankurou didn't come down. Temari looked at the stairs nervously.

"Heeeeey," she called up. "What are you doing?"

There was a brief period of silence. "I...I'm dying," he called down the stair. "I'm dying."

Temari blinked. Gaara looked up from his paper. She got up from the table. "What does that mean?"

"It means you're defective body is deteriorating!!" he yelled down at her.

"What?!?!"

"I'm bleeding from a place that blood should not come from, I have cramps that feel like someone is kicking me in the gut, and I feel like I'm going to puke," he whined. "I'm dying! DAMMIT, I'm too young for this!"

Gaara stood up worriedly but Temari put her hand on his arm. "Wait....blood, cramps, vomiting...What day is it?'

"The fifteenth, why?" he answered.

"Oh...craaaaaaaap," she moaned. "Time to teach Kankurou about the birds and bees..." She walked to the stairs. "Kankurou I have good news and bad news," she said as she ascended. Gaara sat back down with a shrug. There was blessed silence for a few minutes.

"WHAT?! That's gross!"

"Shut up! I have to go through it every month."

"Every MONTH? God, no wonder you're a bitch." Smack. "OW!" Gaara looked up from his cereal, eyebrow raised. He put his hand to his forehead....he had eyebrows. He sighed and went back to eating.

"I do what with that?" ..... "I put that WHERE?!"

"Oh quit whining. It's like a little.....torpedo." Gaara blinked...Did she say...'torpedo'?

"I'm not using this. It feels like there's a sheep inside my body." He dropped his spoon and looked at the stairs. Sheep?

"Fine, then take it out and use this."

"How do I take it out? What is that a diaper?"

"No, moron. Look, just pull the string?"

"What string?"

"The....the string."

"...."

"...."

"OH MY GOD IT'S STUCK!!!!"

"It is not stuck! Here let me see."

Gaara got up from his seat and walked to the door, he quickly put on his sandals and left. It finally got too wierd for him to remain in the house. He headed for Ichiraku, maybe Naruto would be there. Indeed, the familiar boy was sitting down shoveling noodles into his face. He simply stood there behind him, silently watching.

It was a good ten minutes before Naruto polished off his tenth bowl and paid. He turned around and jumped back with a surpised yell. His eyebrows twitched as he gazed at Kankurou's emotionless face.

"What are _you _doing here?" he asked curtly.

Gaara blinked then realized who he looked like. "Ah...We're on a mission and I just stopped by to get something to eat but I changed my mind."

Naruto examined him curiously. "Hm. Well, what're you doing now?"

"Nothing."

".... Want to come to my place?"

Gaara nodded. He had never seen Naruto's home. He wondered what kind of place it was. Dirty and cluttered was his guest but when Naruto opened the door, he found that for the most part it was clean. There was a section littered with scrolls and diagrams but this furthered to prove that Naruto was studious if it did not show in his words and actions.

"People are curious. Naruto, I never would have imagined that this was how you lived."

The spiky haired boy laughed and plopped down on the couch turning on the TV. He reached over to an open bag of chips sitting on the night stand and began eating. "You want some?"

Gaara sat down and shook his head. He simply stared at the TV silently. Naruto would occasionally laugh loudly or point to the screen to explain something to Gaara but the sand ninja remained for the most part silent. A clock on the wall struck 3.

"Un," Naruto grumbled. "Time for the news..."

The dispossessed Gaara stood up. "I should go. I've been gone all morning." He walked to the door, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"What are you going to do?"

"Sleep, probably." He swung open the door and was halfway out when Naruto grabbed his shirt.

"Hey...You're not Kankurou, are you?

"......"

"You're really not! You're Gaara!"

Gaara remained motionless for a time not sure what to say or do. He turned and looked at Naruto. "Of course I'm Kankurou. Can't you tell by the chakra?"

"I don't know what's going on but....you're really not Kankurou. I can tell but if you don't want to tell me-"

"Can you keep it a secret....Naruto?"

The boy smiled and nodded. "Yeah! I won't tell anyone but what's going on?"

"It's hard to explain and I'm not sure myself but...it's some kind of jutsu that switched us around. Temari is me and Kankurou is Temari. We really need Tsunade to come back and fix it." Naruto listened and seemed to think. "What are you thinking?"

"Maybe......maybe Kakashi-sensei could fix you! Since he has the Sharingan."

Gaara blinked. "You think he can? Let's find him." Naruto nodded and grabbed his discarded jacket from the table. The two left the house on a mission to find Kakashi.

Kankurou walked behind Shikamaru looking bummed. They were outside his home in the middle of the deer field looking for a place to set up their picnic.

"Ah. Here we go,"Shikamaru said cheerily pointing to a place underneath a giant oak. "There shouldn't be anything on the ground since we just raked here yesterday."

"Hn," Kankurou replied. The young shinobi gave him an awkward look but said nothing. He grabbed the pale blue blanket from Kankurou's shoulder and spread it out. He then took the basket full of food that his girlfriend brought and sat it down.

He took Kankurou's hands. "Temari? What's wrong?"

"I'm sad."

"Huh? Why?"

"I'm bleeding and it hurts and I'm cranky and emotional and it sucks being a girl," he whined. Shikamaru seemed thoroughly confused and concerned until realization hit him. Then he felt awkward and insecure. He nervously sat down and looked up at the clouds.

Kankurou sat down beside the basket and began unloading the large basket. Shikamaru almost choked. The food looked professional and delicioius. There were sandwiches, sushi, rice balls, salad, and cakes. "Wow, you bought all this?"

"Nah, I made it last night...I was kinda distracted so it looks like crap."

"No way! It looks delicious." Shikamaru grabbed a rice ball and bit into it. He blinked in surprise. He almost cried. ".....This......this is ....the best rice ball I've ever tasted."

"Really? Oh, well dig in there's lots of it...." Kankurou sighed and cupped his chin in his hands as h watched Shikamaru stuff his face.

After a few minutes, the lazy genius noticed his girlfriend's melancholy. He had never seen her that way and it was a bit worrisome. "Ah...Temari are you hungry?"

"Not really..."

"...Wanna do anything?"

"As long as it doesn't involve running or moving a lot."

Shikamaru poked a piece of cake with his fork. "Wanna...." he blushed. "Wanna.....make-......out?"

Kankurou pouted. "You're just saying that because I'm dying."

"No, I really mean it." They met eyes. Kankurou blinked. "I mean....if you want to..."

Temari would kill him she found out but it was his duty as the older brother in his sister's body to find out what kind of kisser this Nara Shikamaru was. If he was a bad kisser then they'd be doomed. He leaned in to Shikamaru, lips parted.

Shikamaru swallowed hard and tilted his head as he kissed Temari, for the first time, on the lips.

Temari shuddered. "I feel a cold feeling creeping over me......" She got up and adjusted the thermostat.


	5. Kakashi's Help

If you'd like to see fanart of my stories, raise your hand? I'm seriously considering illustrating some of these.

* * *

Gaara walked with Naruto down the streets of Konoha. Kakashi was not at his home but that was to be expected of the successful jounin. So they decided to hang out in hopes that he would find them; something that he was very good at doing. Naruto was shooting the breeze, telling Gaara about people, things, and Konoha in general. It was interesting but something was bothering the sand ninja.

"Naruto, how did you know that it was me?" he asked during a pause in conversation.

"Oh? Well, Kankurou is a lot older so he acts like he's cool. You're always so quiet and laid back. You acted a lot like Gaara so I just took a chance. If you were Kankurou, you'd try and beat me up but Gaara doesn't lie so, I knew you'd tell me." Naruto smiled. Gaara was in wonder at his intuitiveness.

"Speaking of Gaara, there's you right now," Naruto said pointing down the street. Indeed, Temari in his body was walking the streets looking around curiously.

"TE-..GAARA!" the young sand ninja called to his older sister, momentarily forgetting himself. She looked up and ran over to them, smiling brightly. "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing. I was feeling really agitated all cooped up in the house so I thought I'd go for a walk," she responded. "Oh, hello, Naruto."

Naruto tilted his head. "Hi, Temari." It was strange seeing Gaara act like that. That is...Gaara's body act like...Temari's...mind.... He looked more perplexed.

"You know it's me??" She looked at Gaara. He nodded. "You told him? But why?"

"Naruto's pretty smart, he figured it out," he commented looking at Naruto, who's eyes were swirling. "... ... Anyway..."

Temari shrugged and sat down beside Gaara, crossing her legs. "Hey, you wanna hang with me? I'm really bored, you know."

Gaara shrugged and stood up. "Sure, I don't mind. Naruto and I were going to look for Kakashi-sensei, in hopes that he could discover what jutsu was used on us and fix it. You know since Tsunade is gone."

The older sand ninja cheered up. "That's a great idea. Where is he now?"

"Dunno. He'll find us." She nodded and they began to walk around the town.

Temari stopped them at a shop for girls. "EEEE! Look at these hair clips!" She grabbed a few purple ones and put them up next to the red hair that she was now donning. "I would look so hot in these!"

A few girls looked at her and chuckled. Gaara fidgeted nervously. "Uh...Temari..."

"OH! OH! Look!" She hurried eagerly over to a rack of earings. "I've been looking all over for a cute pair of dangling earrings for my dates with Shika-kun!"

"Uuuuuh, Temari..." Gaara said more nervously but quietly... Naruto was looking wierded out as well. Temari was forgetting that she was in Gaara's body and that currently she was making him look very...

"I miss my boyfriend dammit!!" She whined and pouted. Yes....she was making him look very... "I know I need a new dress so he can see how sexy I am." She ran off.

"Uh...Gaara," Naruto began...

"I know. Oh, sweet mother in heaven....I know." He sighed and followed Temari.

When they found her she staring at a store. "Oh. MY. GOD! 50 to 70 off! Hell yeah!" She ran into the pink building and began perusing the racks. Naruto and Gaara stood outside in fear.

"You better go in before she ruins your reputation."

"I was hoping that I could just commit suicide and end it all now," Gaara said matter of factly. Naruto smiled sympathetically and pushed him into the store.

Temari was fighting an older girl over a lilac dress. "Let go, Leaf Whore!"

"I saw it first, Sand Scum!"

"You may have saw it but your eyes didn't grab it. I did!" Temari retorted narrowing her eyes.

"Get out of my country!"

"Get out of my face!"

"I'll kick your ass!"

"Oh?! OH YEAH??? SABAKU NO SOU-" She began, sand snaking up the girls ankle. Gaara jumped over the table of clothes and put her in a headlock. Naruto tried to get between them best he could.

Gaara struggled with his sister. "Naruto, grab the dress and let's get out of here."

Naruto nodded and snatched the dress from their hands and ran off with it. The woman chased him. Temari was still trying get the sand to kill her but Gaara covered her eyes so she couldn't see what was going on.

A blond streak soon passed by them as Naruto was being chased out of the store by a flock of irate kunoichi. Gaara followed, dragging his sister along with him. The three were able to escape after some time and disguises later. The two boys wer panting heavily.

"Temari...."Gaara said between breaths. "For future reference...I'm going to need you to act less happy girly and more I hate everything. You know...so I don't look like...." he paused. "A HOMOSEXUAL!!!" He grabbed her by the collar. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! MY BOYFRIEND, TEMRARI??? I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!"

She smiled apologetically, sweating a little. "Oops....Did I forget I was in a boy's body?" Gaara pulled his fist back, twitching psychotically. Naruto grabbed his fist.

"Don't punch yourself! Calm down. Maybe no one will remember." Gaara gave him a dubious look.

Kakashi popped up sitting on a rooftop. "Hey, Gaara! I heard you had a boyfriend!" The young boy looked as his sister with murder in his eyes.

"Kakashi sensei!" Naruto interjected before his friend to pummel his sister. "Do you think you could help us?"

The jounin hopped down and looked intrigued. "Hmm?"

"Gaara, Temari, and Kankurou got their minds...er...bodies..um...switched!" He explained pointing in two opposite directions. Kakashi looked at the Kankurou'd Gaara and the Gaara'd Temari. "We were thinking you could use your Sharingan to fix them."

There was some tense silence as the Copy Ninja who knew over 1000 jutsu peered at the two Sand ninja intensely. Gaara felt the hair on his arms stand on end under that gaze. Temari's heart beat rapidly in her now small chest. Could he help them? Naruto seemed to have a lot of faith in him. Even the usually cheery Naruto looked nervously on.

"...Mmmmm...Nope, not a damn thing I can do right now." They all collapsed in a heap. How disappointing. "But if you give me a fews more days I can help you, I think." Joy! They perked up. Temari pounced him and hugged him tightly.

"Oh thank you , thank you...." She pressed her cheek against his firm, tightly muscled body. "Hey, do you date younger girls?" Gaara choked on his spit? He didn't hear that.

Kakashi smiled and rubbed her head. "Maybe when you get into your own body. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not into that kind of thing?" Naruto and Gaara looked confused. Popular belief. "Crazy doujinshi. Well, I'm off. Don't kill each other." He disappeared as silently was he came leaving them to cope with the news.

Temari sank to the ground. "I want to sleeeeep!" She wailed.

"Speaking of which," Gaara shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm going to take a nap. I'll see you around Naruto." Naruto nodded. With that, Gaara left them and headed home. On the way back, he almost ran over Kankurou returning from his day with Shikamaru. "Watch it...Oh...Kankurou."

The boy grinned from ear to ear. "Gaara, you are NOT going to believe what I just did."

A sinking feeling a kin to the titanic going under weighed on Gaara's stomach. "......."

"I just made out with Shikamaru...ALL DAY!"

It was official. His older brother was intent on suicide. "Temari...is going...to kill....you."

Kankurou waved his hand dismissively. "Whatever. I have all the juicy details and you gotta hear them!"

"No way in hell." He snapped. That sounded a lot like Kankurou, Gaara mused. He filed that comment in the back of his mind and started walking. His brother followed, practically skipping.

"So, you know how I'm bleeding right?"

"Oh god."

"So Shikamaru feels guilty and asks me to make out. I was totally freaked! But since I have this hot body, I might as well enjoy it, right?'

"Uh...no."

"Shut up. So... he starts feeling up my shirt..."

"SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!" Gaara put his hands over his ears. A few more days?? Could they really make it? The Sand User had his serious doubts.


	6. We are the Children of Sand!

I was afraid this was going to be a really really short chapter. Yay for fight scenes. Enjoy

* * *

Several days passed with minor incident. Temari fell alseep and almost destroyed the house before Gaara was able to punch her in the jaw and waker her. After that, she punched him in the jaw for punching her in the jaw. When he yelled at her for punching him in the jaw, she yelled at him and they both yelled until Kankurou came home. Then Temari yelled at HIM for staying out late with HER boyfriend. So Kankurou yelled at HER for yelling at HIM for dating HER boyfriend when SHE told HIM to act normal.

Needless to say, tempers were reaching their breaking point. While Gaara enjoyed sleeping in various postions in various places for long amounts of time. The nervousness of having his sister in his body was starting to give him nightmares. Something he didn't enjoy about sleeping. Not only that, the nervousness of having Kankurou in anyone's body except for his own was worrisome. It seemed like lately the skirts were getting shorter and the make-up getting sparklier. They needed to get their bodies back and fast. What the hell was Kakashi doing?!

Gaara rolled out of bed. How long had it been since he trained? Sure practiced with Kankurou's puppets but it wasn't the same as training. "Hey, Temari? Are you up?"

He walked down the steps. She had her arms crossed and she was glaring up at him. "Of course I'm up, moron. Why wouldn't I be?" she said icily. She acutally sounded like him but he couldn't be sure that she was acting.

"Let's go train together. It'll give us something to do." He smiled. She simply shrugged and walked to the door and waited. Definitely not acting, he surmised. He grabbed Karasu and put the heavy wooden puppet on his back. They were almost out the door when Kankurou opened it.

He had on a tight purple vest that showed more cleavage than Gaara had ever seen Temari wear and a short black shirt. All over long fishet that covered his arms and legs. He grinned broadly. "Hey guys, where ya headed?"

Temari glared daggers at him. She didn't say anything though. She new that harlot was with her precious Shika-shika and for that when they returned to themselves he would die...slowly....yes...so very slowly. She grinned sadistically. She would drag his insides all around the village and paint the town with his blood.

"Temari?" She snapped out of her reverie.

"What?"

"Why were you grinning like that? I thought you'd be mad at me for spending the night at Shika-shika-kun's."

She glared at him. "No one calls him Shika-shika-kun besides me."

Kankurou's purple lips spread into a smile. "Aren't you a grumpy guss, today."

"We're going out to train," Gaara intercepted before a fight could erupt. Temari was grasping a hold of how to use the sand fast and he wasn't sure she could stop him from killing their brother. Wow, it was all making sense now. No wonder they were so afraid of him. He was a deadly little psycho.

Kankurou grinned. "I havne't done that in ages! Let's go!" He dodges passed them and jumped over all of the stairs. He returned with his fan and skipped out the door. Temari looked murderous.

Gaara clicked his teeth. "Siblings..."

The three mismatched Sand Children went outside the village to a nearby pasture. It was fairly empty except for a few rocks and trees that jutted up towards the sky. It was an ideal place to get some excercise. Gaara took a deep breath. "What a nice day."

"Whatever, let's hurry up. I want to kill something," Temari snapped.

"Uh...Temari, we aren't here to kill anyone, we're just-" Gaara stopped abruptly when she gave him a look. "Come on and try to calm down, big sister. Please, for me?" It worked on him, he thought. How would it do when the tables were turned. She sighed and relaxed a little.

Kankurou picked a flower and tucked it behind his ear. He looked at himself in the shiny reflection of his metal fan. A push here, a tuck there, and he had to admit, he was one sexy, sexy girl!

"Stop primping, Kankurou!" Gaara snapped. Let's go ahead and do training exercise 23. Kankurou and I will come at you Temari and you have to stop us. Got it."

She didn't respond but instead walked towards the openness of the field. Gaara rubbed he back of his head and took a deep breath. He looked at Kankurou who smiled and tilted his head with a shrug. Gaara didn't want to know why he had been doing to be so happy all the damn time.

"All right. Ready? GO!"

Kankurou rushed forward and swung the fan at Temari. The sand rushed up and defended her with ease. A few weeks ago, she would have flinched. Now, she didn't even blink when the sand swirled around her. With a snap, the fan was opened to this first third and a blade of chakra imbued air cut across the field, snipping the grass and flowers and imbedded itself in a shield of sand.

Gaara was up next and he unleashed Karasu. The puppet flew through the air and attacke Temari. She tossed up a shield with a flick of her hand, head still looking straight forward, then shoved the puppet off of her defense.

"Boring," she commented. "You're all so boring." She turned her head to Gaara and the sand slithered toward him like three large cobras. He jumped into the air before they imbedded themselves hin his chest.

"Temari! Watch it!" He called out as he landed. She ignored him and swung her hand. A large fist formed and swatted Kankurou across the field like a child's doll.

The two boys tensed but all three felt a familiar tingle. Gaara called Karasu to his side and looked at his brother. Kankurou closed his fan and his eyes and noded. Temari remained still and unmoving. The wind swept across the pasture stirring up the clipped grass and flowers.

"There!" Temari snapped. Sand rosed up like a pillar a few yards away. Seemingly at nothing but imbedded on the end was a familiar kunoichi. The Mist ninja that had used that awful jutsu on them.

"Good job! We got here!" Kankurou exclaimed but the victory party was short lived as the body turned to mist and dissappated in the air. "A clone?"

Gaara looked around. There weren't many places to hide but still he couldn't place the location of their enemy. "The element of surprise is gone."

"What's she doing here?" His brother asked.

Temari took the cork from her goud, letting the sand seep to the ground and swirl at her feet. "It doesn't matter. She's dead."

The Kunoichi appeared before them. "You can't kill me. I'm the only one that can reverse the jutsu. If you kill me, you'll remain like that forever." She looked towards Temari. "I suppose you'll want to be taking a nap as soon as I reverse you."

The older Sandnin flinched. "You're bluffing. As soon as you reverse the jutsu, you know that we'll kill you. You'll never reverse it."

Gaara clenched his fist, Karasu tensed. "So we either way we should just kill you."

"Wait. I have a proposition." She held up a scroll. "This scroll holds the answers that you seek. But the direction won't show until I activate them and I'll only do that long before I'm gone."

"So what's the catch?" Kankurou asked, resting his arm on his fan?

"Well...as the children of the late Kazekage, I know you have more than your fair share of his wealth. I don't suppose you could give me say....half of it?"

The three kids were silent. It was true that they had a good deal of money but to split half of it three ways would be a tough life, even for them. They were quite happy with their current standard of living, however, currently, they were not happy with what bodies they were living in.

Temari chuckled. "Your greed is disgusting. I'll kill you now and make sure that you can never use that jutsu on anyone ever again."

This maid the mist ninja nervous. "You can't...You could barely kill me before. You've only been in those bodies for three weeks. You couldn't have mastered anything in that short amount of time." She shoved the scroll in the sleeve of her kimono. "It'd be a waste of chakra to fight me now."

Kankurou grinned. "Are you kidding? We're more dangerous now."

"Before we were fighting as three seperate ninja. Even though we were team and family, we still didn't really know much about each other," Gaara added.

"Now, however," Temari closed her hands together and formed a hand seal. "We're capable of moving as a unified unit. Our understanding of each other has more than doubled. You made a big mistake messing with us, lady."

Kankurou opened the fan fully and summoned a great deal of chakra to create a tornado that cut towards the Mistninja. She dodged it easily but was irritated to find Kankurou smiling. "_Sunaarashi no jutsu!_ (Sandstorm Technique)" Kankurou and Temari called in unison. The tornado hit the sand and scattered it across the field. The Mistnin tried to shield her eyes from the sand only to find that she could hardly see at all.

A kunai hit the kunoichi in the head and again proved to be a clone. Gaara walked over and picked up the weapon, spinning it on his finger before putting it back in its holder. "Just as I suspected...Temari?" He looked at her. He was concentrating intently.

"20 yards...Northwest...." She opened her eyes but Gaara was already gone. "Think he can do it?"

"The sandstorm should slow her down a lot. He'll get there in time for sure," Kankurou said with a slight smile.

The Mist Ninja staggered around. Sand was getting in her eyes and every breath was abrasive and difficult. She didn't expect them to use such an advanced technique. However, she was sure that the clone would distract them long enough for her to be out of their range of attack. Even with the sand, she was able to make a clean escape.

She bumped into a tree. "Damn... I can't see a thing with all this sand." She coughed and tried to shove past the tree but found that it had a tight grip on her wrist. "What?!" She tried to pull her arm away but she couldn't. "It...it couldn't be..."

"Good job, Karasu. She thought you were a tree or something. I guess we'll have to kill her for guessing wrong," Gaara spoke up. He walked over and took the scroll from the ninja's sleeve.

"But how did you find me. I was -"

"The sand revealed you," he stated calmly.

"Temari and Kankurou's jutsu serves many purposes. First, it decreases visibility. If you can't see were you're going then you can't escape effectivly. Secondly, it reveals location. The sand is imbued with chakra. The grains stick to you and make you looked like a beacon. Traking you down was simple. Third, it slows you down. Even though, you feel like you've been getting further away this whole time..."

He leaned down to speak into her ear. "You've only made it thirty feet."

"No..." she said breathlessly. Her body was racked with coughs afterwards.

"Oh....did I mention the forth effect?"

"If you breath the sand then it slowly fills your lungs. Since is has chakra in it, its also toxic. Even if we didn't find you, you'd die in a matter of hours from aspyxiation." The was a loud crack and the Mist ninja screamed as her arm was broken and bent behind her back. "But I won't let you suffer for long."

"How? How could you get so strong so fast?" she cried.

"Easy. We're siblings." He flicked his index finger and it was over. The blade in Karasu's mouth extended and stabbed the Mist Ninja in the back of her head, killing her instantly. Gaara relaxed his hold and the dead body slumped to ground in a heap.

"Did you get the scroll?" Kankurou walked up beside him, the fan across his shoulders. He looked down at the dead ninja.

"Yeah. Let's go back to Konoha."


	7. SNAFU! Situation Normal? All Freaked Up!

Whoa, I haven't updated in like...a freaking long time. Sorry to keep you awesome people waiting. I lost my mojo. I don't know if it's back or not but I'm going oil the joints, polish the ole' chassis, and try to keep the work coming. I'll start by finishing Switched! Enjoy the finale. It's good to be back.

* * *

As soon as they entered the gates, they headed towards the Hokage's headquarters, though they were certain that Tsunade would not be there. There didn't speak as they walked, all too anxious to find words appropriate for the situation. Kankurou thought back on his last few weeks as a girl. He would almost miss the pleasant attention of stupid boys when he returned to his familiar intimidating body. Almost.He glanced at Gaara. As usual there was no expression.

However, even Gaara's mind was spinning. Inside he was filled with mixed emotions of relief and disappointment. Soon, all would be set right and things would return to exactly as they had been before. Temari would care for them, Kankurou would be rebellious, and he would be sleeplessly aloof. He would miss the sleep definitely but tot have Temari out of his body would more than make up for that. Ever since the change he worried over her sanity. He knew it was wearing on her mentally and physically but he never knew that she was so strong. A small smile of adoration plucked at the corners of his mouth but played it off by pretending to wipe his nose. Slyly, he looked at his sister from the corner of his eye when he realized that he'd miss something else- his new height.

Temari was boiling over with anticipation. There would be no regrets when she got her body back. Kankurou couldn't be trusted with a can opener much less her precious body. There's not telling what he's been up to, she thought furiously. She would be certain to glean every bit of information from Shikamaru, even if it killed him. And if it killed her dear boyfriend, she would kill her not so dear brother because it would ultimately boil down to it being his fault. Her face narrowed into a more severe scowl. She hadn't slept in so long she forgot what sleep felt like. She had more time than she knew what to do with and most of it was filled with thinking. How Gaara could stand thinking so much eluded her. It was no small wonder that he was fussy and rude. The first thing she would do when she got her body back, she decided in that instant, would be to take a nice long nap in her boyfriend's arms.

No sooner had she made the resolution than they began to ascend the stairs to the Hokage's. Again they were stopped by a sentry. "She's not back yet, but she'll be here any day now, I assure you," he explained calmly. He adjusted his shades with his middle finger coolly.

"Look, jerk! We just got attacked by a Mist ninja!" Kankurou exclaimed as he motioned furiously to the gates. "Isn't there someone in this freaking village that can help!"

Gaara rested his hand on Kankurou's shoulder and held up the scroll he had taken. "This scroll contains the information on how to reverse a terrible jutsu but it has some kind of seal on it that we can't decipher. We'll be out of your hair if you can just help us out."

The sentry took the scroll and looked if over for a few minutes. He was silent except for the occasionally 'hmm'. However, when he handed back the scroll to Gaara and his siblings his expression was apologetic. "I really want to help but... this definitely seems like something that Tsunade should take a look at. If Mist is involved..."

"I understand..." Gaara sighed. He turned his back and shoved his hands in his pockets. Kankurou gave a scornful look at the sentry before turning his nose and following his brother down the stairs. Temari lingered for a moment but followed them, wind blown from her sails.

Kankurou dragged the metal fan in the sand slightly has he walked, creating a small trail in the dirt roads of Konoha. The trio walked without aim as they tried to clear their mind of the bad news. A breeze caught the scent of roasting chestnuts, forcing them to realize that they needed food. Gaara paused and looked back at his siblings. They gave him a knowing nod and the decision was made. Outside of the sweet chestnut shop, the young rookies of Konoha were gathered. It seemed as though they were having a small party of some kind. Temeri blushed realizing it was the first time in a long time that she had seen Shikamaru. But why did it have to be in this body!

"Gaara!" Naruto yelled. He waved a stick of roasted mochi at them and motioned for the trio to join the festivities. "How are you?"

"Not so good," Gaara answered taking a seat at a nearby vacant bench. "We got in a fight with a Mist Ninja a little bit ago."

Everyone's expression turned from mild amusement to shock. Neji grew grave and stood up in his seat. "We have to tell one of the jounin. If Mist is attacking-"

Kankurou rested his arm on Neji's shoulder. The younger boy blushed as he looked down at what seemed to him to be Temari in racy clothing. "It's not an invasion, kid. More like a vendetta."

"It's no use in hiding it," Gaara began. "I'm pretty exhausted keeping up this lie and I'm frankly surprised Naruto hasn't spilled his guts by now." He looked at the blonde boy who returned a look of indignance.

"I haven't told a soul. Well, except for Kakashi-"

"And me," Sasuke noted.

Sakura pulled his earlobe. "And me. Really, Naruto, have you forgotten all ready?"

Naruto rubbed his ear. "... ... Well, I had to tell them! They're my team!" He defended. Gaara rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Shino grabbed Chouji's hand as his friend tried to help himself to Shino's plate. "I'm still not certain I understand what's going on."

"I'd like to know myself," Shikamaru agreed. He was resting his head in his palm lazily, one foot propped up against the next bench between Hinata and Kiba. "You've guys been acting really weird since you got here. Temari's been real affectionate, Kankurou's been kind of nice, and Gaara's...well Gaara's not really what you'd call normal but he's been acting weird for him."

Gaara wiped his face with his hand. There was silence between the three. Kankurou shifted nervously from foot to foot. Temari rigidly stood beside Gaara, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Naruto looked between all three of them, then nodded knowingly.

"If you know what's going on, Naruto, spill it!" Kiba snapped. Akamaru barked in agreement. "All this suspense is just stupid."

"It's not for Naruto to tell, Kiba," Sakura intercepted. "It's really a bad situation and I can understand their feelings." She turned to Temari and looked thoughtful. Temari didn't move an muscle. "I think we should just drop it..."

Sasuke shrugged and popped a chesnut in his mouth. Gaara gave a deep sigh before he began to explain. "We had a mission to in Mist country. Some punks were giving Wind merchants a hard time and took something very valuable. We got hired to retrieve it and eliminate the thieves. Things were going really well until..." He paused remembering the moment. "Until the last ninja remained. She performed somekind of ninjutsu that switched our minds and bodies. So...I'm Gaara. Temari," he pointed to his brother. "is Kankurou. And Gaara is Temari." He motioned to his sister as he finished his explanation.

Jaws dropped. "It's been the biggest lie of the century the last couple of weeks but as soon as Tsunade gets back, I'm getting my old body back. This girl crap is terrible." Temari gave him a dirty look that shut him up.

Neji opened his Byakugan to confirm their stories. He noted the anomalies in their chakra with silent surprise. "That's a pretty advance jutsu. So you killed the ninja that performed? How will you turn back then?"

Kankurou shrugged. "Well, we got this alleged scroll that's supposed to tell us how to reverse it but we can't read the damn thing. It's sealed." Gaara tossed the scroll on the table. Sasuke grabbed it eagerly and began to look it over. No sooner had he put it down than a gloved hand snatched it up.

"Hmm, pretty tricky," Kakashi mused, cupping his chin.

"Kakashi!" Naruto and Sakura exclaimed. The other genin and Shikamaru moved in closer to the jounin.

Kakashi gave a wave and a smile before spreading the scroll on the table. He looked it over intently and took a deep breath. He placed his hand on the cool, smooth paper. A blue light emanated from his hand. Slowly, with the same blue light, ink began to reveal itself on the paper. A diagram illustrating the effects of the jutsu was centered in the middle. The light disappeared as the last of the scrawl was unsealed. The was hushed awe.

Taking the scroll up, the Copy Ninja again began to study the scroll. He expression was serious. "I could probably release this seal but I think I know someone better suited for this." He looked at Ino.

Immediately assuming that he meant her she went red as a boiled octopus and began to frantically wave her hands. "Oh no way! I mean I'm flattered but I'll probably just screw it up and I really don't want these guys mad at me!" Kakashi smiled.

"It's a high level skill. I wouldn't give this responsibility to you. I meant your dad. Do you think you could get him?"

Ino felt as if a tremendous weight had been lifted. "Sure. I'll be back before you can say "The most beautiful ninja in Konoha." She gave a wink and stood up.

"Yeah, yeah. As if anyone would want to say that anyway," said Shikmaru. Ino correct him by slapping his hand away from his head, making him fall into the table.

"Nobody asked you!" She ran off in a huff.

Naruto meanwhile was feeling the excitement build. "This is great. I mean, I couldn't stand being in Sasuke's body for more than a second. Though...I wouldn't mind being in Sakura's..."

Sakura growled fiercely and held up her fist. Naruto swallowed. "I couldn't stand being in your stupid body and I'd rather commit seppuku than let you spend a second in my body! I'd kill you for being in Sasuke's body too!"

"But then you'd be killing Sasuke who would be stuck in Naruto's body," explained Lee.

Inner Sakura gagged. _That's too disgusting to even think about! Shut up, Fuzzy Eyebrows! No one asked you!_ Outwardly, Sakura shuddered with pure disgust. Poor Naruto only put on his sad face his unrequited love for Sakura flying back into his face.

Ino returned dragging her father, who was still in an apron from his work at the flower shop. "I'm back and I got my dad."

"What's this all about, Kakashi?" Yamanaka asked, looking around. "Ino said it had to do with some kind of exchanging jutsu?"

Kakashi tossed him the scrolled. "Yeah, pretty complicated stuff. Nasty if it works too. Thought you might appreciate a new skill!" He smiled jovially. The elder Yamanaka looked it over and and a gave slow whistle.

"Impressive. But nothing I can't handle." He rolled the scroll back up and handed it to his daughter. "Right. If we're going to do this we need to do it in the same order. So who got switched first?" Gaara and Temari raised their hands. "Okay. Stand in front of me." They did as they were told and stood before the jounin, exchanging looks of apprehension as they did. Taking a deep breath, Yamanaka's hands became a blur as he performed the hand seals to invoke the jutsu. "Koukan no Jutsu!" He touched Gaara's arm. The young Sand ninja felt his world suddenly began to detached. "Touch him. Hurry!" Temari was a little stunned but grabbed Gaara's hands he wobbled unsteadily. As she did so their mind and bodies swapped. Gaara, now back in his body, fell unconscious caught by his friend Naruto. Temari, now in Kankurou's body fell to her knees.

Kankurou ran forward instinctively to help his siblings. He knelt down beside Temari when just like before he was ambushed by the jutsu. Yamanaka touched him on the head and as he touched his sister their minds and bodies swapped. All was right.

Temari felt something cold on her forehead. She opened her eyes. Shikamaru was looking down at here with worry. He lifted a damp towel from her brow and helped her to sit up. "You are you, right?"

"I..I think so," she responded in a familiar voice-her own. "YES! It's definitely me!" She hugged him tightly around the neck. "I don't ever want to go through that again."

Shikamaru patted her back and helped her too her feet. "You just should have told me in the first place. It's troublesome to keep lies like that. We might have been able to help sooner if you just had-" She rolled her eyes and shoved him away lightly.

"Oh, shut up...Where's Gaara? And Kankurou?"

"Hey, Gaara's coming to finally..." Naruto quipped. There was a groan from a bench. Gaara's red-head ascended from the bench. He held his throbbing head in his hands. "It's me all right... Miss me, Shukaku?" He grumbled. "Because I really didn't miss you." Naruto grinned.

Kankurou yawned loudly and sat up from the ground. He looked around groggily but seemed to realize where he was suddenly. He patted himself, touching his face and chest. He even checked to make sure he was still a boy, much to the chagrin of Temari and the other civilized ladies.

"YES! I'm a man again!" He hopped to his feet and stretched. He patted his bound Karasu. "I missed my puppets, I missed my body, I missed peeing standing up! I MISSED IT ALL!" He hugged Yamanaka but immediately let him go and crossed his arms defensively. "Uh... yeah, thanks. Good job..." Kankurou cleared his throat.

Gaara touched his hair and looked has his hands. "What did you do to my hair? What did you do to my nails?"

"It's called shampoo, conditioner, and a manicure, little brother." Temari looked herself over. "But what did Kankurou do to MY body?"

Kankurou shuddered from her glare. "It's called Sexy. I don't expect a cow like you to understand the concept. My body on the other hand is pretty awesome! As usual, though. Good job not screwing it up, brat." Gaara simply glared.

"There's just one thing I don't understand," Naruto interrupted. "If Kankurou was in Temari's body that whole time... Was Shikamaru making out with a girl or a boy?"

The color from the lazy genius drained clean away. He's body went limp and slumped forward, eyes wide. Like a bad dream, Kankurou realized that he did make out with Shikamaru. He remembered it. Every moment of it. Just because he got his body back, those memories and feelings didn't disappear. The two boys looked at each other as if they were both horrendous aliens.

"I...kissed...you?" Shikamaru stammered.

"Oh sweet mother in heaven...I'm going to puke!" Kankurou jumped over a table and ran to the bathroom.

Shikamaru put his hand over his mouth and ducked away in a hurry. Everyone looked half-confused and half-disgusted at the situation. Temari giggled in spite of the situation until she realized the her brother stole her first kiss, her boyfriend, and who knows what else.

"... I'll kill him..." She jumped up and ran to the bathroom. "KANKUROOOOUUUU! YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!"

Naruto looked over to Gaara. "Aren't you going to stop her?"

"Huh? Why bother? It's not my body anymore, she can do whatever the hell she wants. Besides, I warned the idiot not to do it." Gaara yawned, plucked a roasted mochi from a skewer and chewed it lazily.

That night the Sand siblings and Shikamaru were seated around the table. To celebrate the end of their 'curse', Temari decided to cook a meal for them. Kankurou nursed his black eye and busted lip with an ice back. Shikamaru brushed his teeth for what seemed to be hours and still he felt dirty. Kankurou and him refused to look at each other. Temari exited the kitchen with a big pot of steaming stew.

"Okay! It's all ready. Eat up!" She ladled the stew into the boys bowls. Kankurou looked down and winced. Gaara scooped up a spoonful and put it in his mouth. He turned green for a second but made no remarks. Temari looked around and was about to admonish them with a timer went off. "Oh, the rice. I'll be right back. Eat! Eat!" She left the table in a hurry.

Shikamaru sighed. "Kankurou?"

"All that food? You mean...You cooked it right?"

"Hnnn, yeah..." They remained silent.

"I miss your cooking."

"I know." Kankurou held up a small bento box. "Pour your soup on the floor. Gaara will soak it up with his sand. You can eat this on you way home. Don't let her catch you."

Shikamaru grinned. "You'll make a good wife someday if you keep this up." Kankurou shrugged, forcing his blush to go away.

Temari came back with a large bowl of rice. She looked from Kankurou to Shikamaru to Gaara and back again. She set the bowl down and grabbed a wooden spoon.

WHACK!

"STOP FLIRTING WITH MY BOYFRIEND!"

"I WASN'T!"

" A WOMAN CAN TELL! SHIKAMARU!"

Shikamaru swallowed. "I promise! There's nothing between me and your brother! You're the only one I love. Kankurou and I are just friends...God, I can't believe I just said that."

Gaara stood up from the table. "And it just got wierd... again. Good night." Walked up the stairs, ignoring the sounds of the fighting behind him.


End file.
